There are moments that come around in your life, and as you experience them and even in the immediate aftermath of them, you feel as though they are significant, life changing, possibly even revolutionary, depending on the scenario. I know myself fairly well. I know what I will and won’t do, which is why directly following one of these moments I thought to myself, “Please let this one matter more than the others” because, I know me. I know how easy it is for me to shove aside those determinations when it becomes difficult. When I don’t like how it feels, or how it affects me and my time. I know my own responses to adversity, and I usually don’t like them. It’s a sad moment when you realize you are so good at letting yourself down you immediately think of the failure, rather than of the success, and simply hope you are wrong. I don’t want to be right, not in this case. I want… Well, that’s a good question, isn’t it?
What DO I want?
Do I even know?