Why the OnePlus 6T is NOT the Phone for Me

For me there is a lot that goes into the decision of what phone I like and which ones are, to me, not worth the time or money. Some of them can be done away with, which I’ve only learned by experimentation, such as the headphone jack (learned on the iPhone 7) and apparently also the home button as it is traditionally known (learned on the Pixel 3).

Camera
Apparently that has to be better than I thought. I took pictures last night with the OnePlus 6T and was rather… disgusted… by the pictures it took, both front and rear cameras. It was blurry. No sharpness, no detail. Crazy part is, the cameras on this phone are higher than either the iPhone 7 (2 years old) and the Pixel 3 (current) and still takes worse pictures.
I’ve learned the numbers don’t mean anything when it comes to quality. The megapixel count is higher on the OnePlus 6T but the processing of the picture is so much worse that it renders the potential quality useless.

Home Button
The iPhone 7 had a home button. Very physical. Very there. Fingerprint scanner. The works. Loved it. Switching to the Pixel, I was worried I would have a problem with it, but it has NOT taken long to switch. I was kind of surprised, to be honest. The gesture style that Google has implemented is rather seamless, and I found myself switching to that style of control on the OnePlus 6T (because OnePlus gives you the option to switch things around like that through a slightly tweaked operating system). However, OnePlus made a few tweaks to that system too, and it isn’t QUITE as seamless, though it is close.
The home button as it was originally known, traditionally known, isn’t nearly as much of a requirement as I once believed. As long as much of the functionality is there, and in some cases more functionality, I find the switch easy.

Fingerprint Readers
Fingerprint readers. TouchID. Super useful tools for authentication or for locking and unlocking the device, logging into apps, etc. I really. REALLY. Like having a fingerprint reader. I loved that the TouchID system was integrated directly into the Home Button of the iPhone 7. It was such a seamless experience, I didn’t even know I was having my print read most of the time. It. Just. Worked. The Pixel 3, though has the reader on the back of the phone. I still maintain that I am not a fan of that, but at the same time I have quite quickly come to terms with the location, and even find myself trying to used that spot on the OnePlus 6T. I hit the bottom cameras lens, instead. Also, at least for now, the scanners that are standalone seem to be faster. The scanner in the 6T, built behind the screen and shining through a small hole in the screens backing, is already known to be less secure because it is optical, but it is also slower for me. I don’t know if I am not using it right or what, but the fingerprint readers on the iPhone 7 and Pixel 3 simply work, and quickly, whereas I find myself having to either wait for the OnePlus to scan my finger or I have to find the right place to put my finger as it tells me it cannot read my print. At the moment, I am not a fan of readers behind the display.
I think the idea of having the reader be on the back of the display is an ingenious idea. I think it will work for a lot of people, and plenty will be enamored of the functionality of it, as well as the “modernness” of the technology. Personally, I will stick with the standalone readers until more time has passed. Some technology, though great, needs time to be fleshed out, and there are people needed to test it rigorously to flesh it out, but that person is not me. Not this time.

Facial Recognition.
It goes by many names, and neither of my prior two main phones had it. Whether it is facial recognition, or FaceID, or whatever other name it may have, it does the same thing. It uses your face to unlock the phone. Usually it is a three dimensional map of your face, but I’ll be honest and say that I’m not sure if it always is. I’m sure there either is or was a two dimensional version of it at some point, and it was/is likely MUCH less secure. The OnePlus 6T though, that… that has facial recognition. I have also tried the Galaxy S9 and S9+ and both of those had it. I’ll be honest, I love it. If it works well, and it does on the OnePlus, then it is a magical idea. Usually, the OnePlus 6T unlocks AS I PUSH THE BUTTON rather than afterwards. It is as close to instant as I’ve used, though admittedly my experience with the feature is limited. On the OnePlus I use it so much more often than the fancy new “not really in-display” fingerprint reader that I may as well not have the fingerprint reader. Really.
Case in point, I just had a few sales interactions that put the writing here on hold, and I had to use my calculator on my phone to do some quick math. Every time I pulled the phone out, I used the facial recognition because I knew, from less than a full day of using the phone, that it would be the fastest option by far. It was a super smooth experience on the OnePlus 6T, which is one of the nice things I have to say about it.
What I’ve Learned
I thoroughly like facial recognition based on my limited experience with it, and I feel like it should be an option on every single phone. I have no knowledge of the price of something like that, but I do know prices only come down when there is large scale production and competition. The more the merrier. However, I feel like it should be used in conjunction with fingerprint scanners, rather than in replacement of. Options are always nice from a hardware standpoint.

Speakers
This is where we start getting… into the weeds, if you will. Lots of phones have okay speakers. The OnePlus doesn’t necessarily stand out. In fact, if it did stand out, it’s only because it is claiming to be a flagship killer (or flagship phone, depending on who you ask) and it only has a single speaker. Downward firing, at that, rather than forward facing. I mean, I get it. The entire front of the phone is trying as hard as it can to be screen real estate, so putting a forward firing speaker doesn’t really jive with that idea. I just can’t concede flagship killer to something that doesn’t have a similar stereo speaker setup to all of the flagships.
Also, a really odd note here that I’m pretty sure is more software related than hardware, but connecting the OnePlus to my car via Bluetooth resulted in… quiet music. I made sure the phone was turned all the way up, as it wasn’t initially, and still about half the volume of any other phone I’ve ever had connected via the Bluetooth in my car. I haven’t tried headphones yet as of the writing, but I can’t imagine it would be any different, as all the other phones had similar sound in headphones, too, making this the odd man out.
Speakers, and sound in general, are super important. I wasn’t expecting the sound quality of the Dolby Atmos in the Galaxy S9 or the AKG tuned headphones that phone comes with, but I was expecting… more. Even the iPhone 7 had stereo sound. Not great stereo sound, mind you. It still had one downward firing speaker, and that was the louder of the two by far, and the Pixel 3 has dual front facing speakers (which is so nice, by the way). The OnePlus, by comparison sounds… it sounds like they forgot something. In my opinion, they did.

Screen Size
There isn’t much of a difference in size between the Pixel 3 phone body and the OnePlus 6T phone body, and even the glass on the front is about the same size. The screen, though, that is a different story. The screen on the 6T is noticeably larger. Rather than having the bezels for the forward firing speakers like the Pixel 3 does, or for the Home Button with TouchID like the iPhone 7 did, there is almost no bezel to be had. None that matters, anyways. There is a super tiny chin, and the notch at the top, the tiny teardrop that it is, is the only thing at the top other than screen. It feels like such a large phone because of this. I mean absolutely massive. I was comparing the two phones side by side and the OnePlus 6T body is EVER SO SLIGHTLY larger, but not by an amount that would be noticeable if they weren’t right next to each other.
For some reason, and I honestly think it is nothing more than a psychological interference, but the OnePlus 6T is almost too big for me to use. I mean, it’s not a bad size, and I still like it, but for me the Pixel is still a much more usable (for my hands) size. I’d rather have the iPhone 7 size, but with more screen, but that ship has sailed.


Battery Life

From usage so far, battery life seems pretty on par with everything else. More time will be required to really know for sure, but based on my usage so far, and the percentage I’m left with at this moment, it seems to be draining around the same speed. I know it has a larger battery than the iPhone 7 or the Pixel, but I don’t personally like compare the mAh of different batteries. Those numbers mean nothing. Different hardware, different software, different battery usage. My hope is that whatever battery size they put in the phone, it will get through the day without needing a charge. It’s something I actually like about how Apple does things. Sure, it would be nice to know numerical specs, but at the same time, it doesn’t matter. IPhone battery life has always been on par with the other flagship phones as far as time is concerned, but from everything I’ve seen has almost always had smaller batteries. Sometimes significantly so. The iPhone 7 for example was only 1960mAh, when everything else coming out was around 3000mAh. That phone still performed all day, though, like all the other phones. The OnePlus has a large battery, and it has a lot of hardware to power, and fancy FoD Fingerprint readers, and large cameras, and lots of screen, and it needs more power to run than a smaller phone.


Haptic Feedback
I absolutely, unquestionably, detest the haptic feedback of the OnePlus 6T. I may be spoiled at this point. I spent two years with the Taptic Engine of the iPhone 7, the Pixel 3 finally upped their game on the haptic feedback front and is now close to the Taptic Engine bar, and the 6T is… antiquated. It really feels like something on an older Android. It’s not bad for what it is, but compared to the other two it feels too mushy. When using the keyboard it feels like a drumroll, not a click. Maybe that is a setting. Maybe I can change it. It’s still early, and I will have to look into it, but at the same time, the initial choice for this shouldn’t be the mushy feel, it should be a click. Honestly, that’s all I’ve got. When using the keyboard for texting, which is 70 percent of my active phone usage, (something like watching a video is passive, searching for the video to watch is active) it should feel right. Correct. The first time. And it doesn’t.


Button Placement
So, this one is nitpicking for reasons the folks at OnePlus can’t help. I’ve gotten used to the Pixel 3 having all the buttons on the same side, and that is an amazing thing, sometimes. I hate that my car’s dash mount for my phone constantly clamps on the volume down button. Luckily it doesn’t change the volume, as it doesn’t mash hard enough, but still. The OnePlus gets to avoid that because of their placement. It looks good, it’s balanced, and the buttons are very clicky as they should be, but they are on both sides of the phone, and that’s just not what I was expecting. Again, it’s not bad, it’s just different.


Sound Toggle Slider
Thank you to everyone at OnePlus. This should be a feature on EVERY SINGLE PHONE EVER MADE. Holy cow this thing. Let’s be honest. IPhone got that right. They did. They got the mute switch perfect, and they have kept it because it is perfect. Depending on your feelings on the subject, you may hate or love that the OnePlus has three settings, Ring, Vibrate, and Silent. I personally am indifferent. I think two options instead of three would be nice. Rather than vibrate and silent, maybe include a setting so you can change if you want it to be vibrate or silent for the second option, with ring being the regular choice. Shoot, maybe make all three of them options. No real reason you couldn’t. That would be software, not hardware. Either way though, the slider is an AMAZING addition. Also, even though it has three settings, it takes enough force to switch between them that you won’t accidentally move the slider, and in my experience, I never moved two spots when I only wanted to move one. It was well implemented. Thumbs up.


Charging
Oh how I wish it had wireless charging. I so wish it did. I know, cutting costs while still getting the top of the line stuff is the name of the game for this, but… This was an oversight. Sure, it has USB-C (which I’m still not a huge fan of, but that is a different topic altogether) and sure, it has Dash charging. Great. But, I have wireless chargers everywhere I went all out. And now they are only useful because they are all powered by USB-C and I can unplug them to get their power cord. I mean, come on. You gave it the glass back. You did half the work already. All you had to do was throw in a coil. Super thin. Takes almost no space. Extra $30 bucks for the version that has wireless charging? Done. Take my money. As it is, this is another space I feel OnePlus missed the mark, even if only by a little.


Included Accessories
This was alright. They included a VERY nice USB-C charging cable, even if it is USB-A to USB-C. (Kind of went halfsies there, didn’t ya?) Their proprietary Dash Charger is in the box giving you UNLIMITED COSMIC POWER *cough cough* several hours of charge in just minutes. They included the USB-C to 3.5mm jack adapter in the box, since they removed the headphone jack. No headphones, unlike the Googles and Samsungs, though again, removed some of the unnecessary items to make the whole unit cheaper to sell, so I can get behind that, especially since I personally am not a fan of that style of headphone. Ya done good, OnePlus.


Interface

No. Kind of yes, but mostly just no. Look, I don’t remember the reason they use Oxygen OS rather than just using the stock Android Experience. Maybe they weren’t allowed to. Maybe it was started before Android One (pretty sure it was) and now it has just become something they are known for. So, naturally, they would have to include it. And I don’t remember why they call it Oxygen OS unless it is supposed to be about as easy as breathing. They get credit, though. It is a really clean interface. It is NOT as clean as stock Android. No. They don’t get that. After using the Pixel 3, I can say it is really really close, but it is not the same. They made a couple of changes to it, and I don’t personally think they add anything. I think they just confuse the intended simplicity of the stock experience, but at the same time they add a couple of useful tweaks in some places to balance out the oddities in others. I miss stock. I do. I also miss being able to swipe the home screen and get the google news feed. Or swiping the home screen and getting the iOS Widgets tab, which is kind of what the Shelf on Oxygen OS reminds me of. It’s just not as clean looking. Nor is it as clean functioning. Same phone, running stock? Now that is an exciting thought.

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iPhone Hype?

I’m a strange individual. This isn’t news to me. It’s something I both appreciate and embrace. To that extent, though, I have found that I function on a pendulum. I switch back and forth between the two major options: Android and iOS. (Side note, to those of you who think it is Android and iPhone, NO. You are wrong. Android is an operating system, as is iOS, whereas iPhone is a device line.) I was using a Samsung Galaxy S5, now I have the iPhone 7, but I only went to Samsung when I took my iPhone 4S swimming in saltwater, which was a very bad time. When I had the 4S as my EDC (Every Day Carry) I also had an iPad and a MacBook Pro, all with matching skins. They were really cool, and while I had them the guys at Apple came out with a way to truly unite their products, merging things like iMessage across multiple devices like the MacBooks. I really appreciated the continuity in feel between them.

Then I switched to the Samsung world, giving me much more freedom in how I wanted to set up my entire device. You can get new home screens, new icons, entire replacement apps for things like your camera or messaging apps. The versatility of Android devices still remains, in my book at least, unparalleled. If you want to change an Android feature, you can. If you want to change iOS features, you can’t without jailbreaking it.

As I mentioned before, I have the iPhone 7 now. I would have gone with the 7 Plus but the device was just too ridiculously large. (I used to joke about how the Galaxy S5 had a ‘one handed use’ feature you could activate making the screen go into the bottom corner, left or right was your choice. Guess what happens if you lightly double-tap the home button of the iPhone 7. Yep. The screen shrinks to only the bottom half of the phone so you can reach the whole thing with just one hand.) I’m in the process, as I type this up, of downloading the newest phone update, iOS 11, which comes out for the iPhone 8 and iPhone X. Tangential thought: Why not call it the iPhone 10 if that’s how you want people to say it? I call it iPhone EX, as in ex-lover. I say the letter, not the Roman numeral equivalent of the number.

Anyways, as I sit here and read up more on the update and learn what all it can do, I am learning more about my car (thank you CarPlay) and more about how the continuity between Apple devices will be even stronger after iOS 11. I want a Mac again. I don’t know if I care so much for the iPad, as I only really ever used it for YouTube and either of the other devices would manage just fine. I can honestly say I do miss my old MacBook Pro, though. It was a 2010 version, right before they came out with the ‘we’re going to solder all the connections so you can’t change anything after you buy it’ versions. I’m not sure I will ever be truly satisfied with whatever computer I get. I say this not because nothing is good enough for me, but because there are features in both camps that I REALLY enjoy. Mac’s work WONDERFULLY well because of the components chosen to work together, while Windows PC’s are fully customizable and upgradeable. I appreciate both for both reasons, and I resent both for the reasons of their opponents (If that makes sense. What makes one good makes the other not as good.)

I’m not saying I’m going to run out and grab the latest Mac. No really, I’m not. I’m much too broke for that. I kind of want to, but I recognize the impracticality of that and refuse to do it. I will, however, be keeping my eye out for what comes down the pipeline from Apple. They are NOT the frontline of the next greatest thing (headphone jack, anyone?) but that doesn’t mean they don’t know what they are doing. And as far as the iPhone X, 10, whatever, if they are going for a truly wireless experience where the only experience is literally just the device itself, they are slowly coming closer and closer to realizing that goal. In the meantime, I am just going to sit here semi-impatiently while the whopping 1.91 GB iOS 11 upgrade downloads to my device so I can spend all day at work tomorrow learning how it works rather than actually working.

Stoane

Sleep, Rest, Neither, or Both?

Sleep. Not rest, but sleep. That’s what I have been doing for a month now. I’ve been getting at least 8 hours of sleep, and uninterrupted sleep at that, but not getting the rest I need. It’s one of the more frustrating things.

I, like many, daydream of going to sleep when I am at work. I think about how nice sleep would be, what position I would collapse in, which pillow I would use… (I have 5 different pillows, depending on my preference that night. I want more. Don’t judge. Fine, judge, just do it quietly. STOP YELLING!!!) Then it actually happens. I get home. I lay down. I go to sleep. I STAY asleep, thankfully. Then I wake up. It feels like I didn’t sleep. It FEELS like I stayed up all night. It feels as though I was PARTYING all night. I don’t even party during the day!!!

It’s not fair. The only time I felt rested after waking up, I had slept 13 hours!!! Why? Why do I need 13 hours of sleep to feel amazing when I wake up? Have I angered a god? A demigod? Is he angry that he’s a demigod and taking it out on my nighttime resting ritual? I’m afraid I’m going to need him to quit that. It’s really annoying.

I need my sleep. I needed to rant about not sleeping. Let me sleep.

Help me sleep.

Please.

Stoane

Sunday, July Twenty-Third, Two Thousand Seventeen

I’ve been neglecting this. I’ve been neglecting many things. When I think about it, I start to ask myself some rather negative questions. Questions like: Can I just not do anything right? Can’t I make new habits? Why am I so bad at this? Why so much failure?

It’s way simpler than that. Before I keep going, no, I don’t think this is going to be a super sad post about woe is me. I’m a “flowing train of thought” typer though, so I guess we will see, won’t we? 🙂 Anyways, it’s not about failure. It’s about difficulty. If it is difficult, I don’t want to try. Wow, that was simple. Huh… Shame that fixing it isn’t that simple. I see so many things in my life that aren’t easy, and some of them I have to do while others, others I can choose. This means when something is difficult, I make a choice, whether conscious or not, to either do or not do this thing in question.

If that’s the case, I just have to make sure all of those choices are conscious choices. Things I don’t normally think about or focus on must now become a much higher priority. I have spent much of my life making excuses, and not nearly enough making amends. That all changes right… well, actually… it changes tomorrow. It’s after eleven at night, and I am about to go to sleep because I have work tomorrow, so, that changes TOMORROW! HAH! See? I might be putting it off, but it’s for good reason. A good nights rest can make all the difference.

See you folks on the other side! (Of the meridian)

Stoane

Fleeting Moments

There are moments that come around in your life, and as you experience them and even in the immediate aftermath of them, you feel as though they are significant, life changing, possibly even revolutionary, depending on the scenario. I know myself fairly well. I know what I will and won’t do, which is why directly following one of these moments I thought to myself, “Please let this one matter more than the others” because, I know me. I know how easy it is for me to shove aside those determinations when it becomes difficult. When I don’t like how it feels, or how it affects me and my time. I know my own responses to adversity, and I usually don’t like them. It’s a sad moment when you realize you are so good at letting yourself down you immediately think of the failure, rather than of the success, and simply hope you are wrong. I don’t want to be right, not in this case. I want… Well, that’s a good question, isn’t it?
What DO I want?
Do I even know?
Stoane

Paper: A Very (Un)Important Thing

Paper is the least important it has ever been, making it more important than ever in my eyes.

Computers are the way the world works now. News used to come on newspaper, but now there are websites and Twitter and Facebook, all delivering the news directly to us and faster than the newspaper could. Games are no longer on paper or on a board, they are played on your phone or tablet. Even books, the things that are embodied by covers, where you flip through the pages to find a new life to live, even if only temporarily, those are no longer necessarily in paper form. They are just as commonly found in digital form as they are in physical form.

We’ve slowly been moving to this throughout the use of paper. Way back when, there were monks who did nothing but handwrite copies of books and decorate them, quite obviously adding much more value to them than any book nowadays. Eventually, using a machine and movable type, printing became a thing. Rather than handwrite anything more than the rough draft, you simply line up the letters you want and rub ink on them, press the paper to the type, and presto, a printed page.

Over the course of time, you get a much fancier machine, one with many more moving parts: The typewriter. Rather than having to reset the type for each page, why not have the page be stationary and add a continuous roll of ink, then make it so with a single button push you can have that particular letter be inked on the page? It’s amazing just how effective these machines were, churning out books faster than ever!

Then the computer came around and blew the typewriter out of the water! With editable pages without the need for whiteout, you could draft entire novels without the need of a single letter removal, because the backspace button was the best part of the keyboard! The digital age allowed for mass production of books. You could have hundreds of pages, print them in sequence, and bind them so quickly that the initial monk wouldn’t have finished half a page of writing, much less the calligraphy and decoration that would initially follow.

But, why stop there? If it is digital when you write it, why transfer it to the physical? Why not just make it into an eBook, viewable and readable on millions of portable devices? That would give you the potential to be in everyone’s hand or pocket instantly, similar to regular web pages. (Here’s looking at you Google!) Why wouldn’t you? I mean, there’s no material cost, making your profits go up. There are entire devices made exclusively for reading eBooks! (Here’s looking at you, Paperwhite!) Wait, Paperwhite?

That’s right. Paperwhite. A device was made to resemble the color of a piece of paper as much as possible. There is still and always has been something special about a book, about reading that book. There is something significant about turning the pages, which is why almost every eReader has the option for a page turning animation as you scroll. Mostly, though, there is something significant about reading through a book, being three quarters of the way through and knowing you are getting to the really good part, the part the entire book has been building towards, that a progress bar at the bottom that goes away just doesn’t seem to convey as strongly. There’s a note of finality to closing the back cover of the book after you have finished the story that exiting an app can never give. As much as you want to keep tapping the right side of the screen to keep the story flowing, good books will still be called page turners because of the physical nature books should continue to embody, on paper.

Isn’t it amazing how important something so thin and flimsy can be in an age of rigidity and digitality? Reality matters. Physicality matters. Paper matters.

Paper

Stoane

Bottled Emotions: Saving for Later?

I have an anger problem. This isn’t news to me. I have known since around the fifth grade. Pretty much the entire year I was in fifth grade, I saw a counselor for anger management. Sometimes I was taken out of class for it, other times I went to the actual office location of the therapist. Do you want to know the worst part? None of it helped. None. I spent a year learning coping mechanisms, controlled energy release techniques, things like that, and none of them kicked in.

Well, that’s not true. Most of them kicked it, but they waited until I was a decade older and had no idea what took them so long before they did so. I’m not saying they were a day late and a dollar short, but… their timing was imperfect and they had not the currency required. I used to hit things, throw things, hit things, attempt to break things by throwing things at them, often hoping to also break the thing that was flying in the process. I wasn’t a happy child, right then.

So, you may be wondering what changed ten years later when the “education” kicked in, and it’s really simple. I realized something about what I was being taught that I never caught on to when I was with the therapist: none of the things I was being taught, and encouraged, to do were to suppress or remove the anger. They, instead, funnel that anger into a specific activity, hopefully non-violent, to remove it from the equation as much as possible. They were trying to let me know that anger isn’t just inescapable but expected, and in many cases acceptable. Anger will exist, often more so when we try to run from it, but if we decide to release it in non-devastating ways, it can be effective as a motivational tool, or the push to do that thing you’ve been putting off. On the other hand, if we bottle it up, we risk detonation, and whether that explosion is internal or external will determine the fallout.

I just had to learn one thing. Anger, in and of itself, is not bad. Making poor choices while angry, that’s bad. Blaming your actions on your anger, as if that means you don’t have to take responsibility for them, is also bad. If you are angry all the time, that is also bad. You can’t use it as a crutch, or rely on it to help you do things you don’t think you can do otherwise, because anger is just an emotion. It is often fleeting, and whimsical. Pinning your hopes and dreams on temporary emotions is not something I would ever advise, just as I would never advise you to rely on an emotion to be there when you need a boost, because there is a good chance it will not be there. Emotion is illogical, and emotion makes us human. Embrace it, but do it the way that funnels the extremes out.

Bottle

Deuces.

P.S.: Sorry this is out a day late, and that I missed a day. That is what terrible sleeping patterns will do to you… I’m going to attempt to make up that lost prompt.

What Blossoms Wakefulness?

The simple answer is this: Coffee.

Coffee and I have had a long-standing love-hate relationship. I will go through periods of time where coffee is just about the best thing on the planet, and without there is no functioning. I will then follow those with similar periods where coffee is so far from my mind it is ridiculous to think I ever needed it so badly. It has never been steady.

For me, there really isn’t ever a need for coffee, at least not anymore. There are some mornings where I feel I need it, but more than anything it is just a part of my routine in the mornings. I get a shower, get dressed, get my Tervis of coffee, go to work, and I continue my day. If I don’t get my coffee, am I grumpy? Yeah. A little. Part of that is the lack of caffeine, I’m sure, but I know for a fact that part of it is simply a break in my habits. I am a creature of habit, for sure, and that is why it is so hard for me to create a new one or break an old one. I do things a certain way, and I always do them that way if I can, and any change it that disrupts my obsessive compulsive tendencies.

And while I will often drink more than one cup a day, it has more to do with enjoying the taste of coffee how I make it and less to do with needing caffeine. It’s a comfort to me to have a cup of coffee. I often keep the cup in my hand to create a miniature barrier between me and the person I’m talking to. I don’t do that consciously. I have just noticed I do it.

Side Notes:

I apologize for this one being technically the next day. My evening ran long and I was almost asleep, but I got up specifically to type out this post. That’s also part of the reason this post may seem a little different, and maybe shorter. I’m too tired to know for sure.

I got a new pair of glasses today. I got used to the new prescription much faster than I thought I would, and I didn’t even end up with a headache from them. My only complaint is they are constantly falling off of my nose.

I’m going to actually go to bed now, and I hope anyone who is reading this sleeps/slept well. People who read things willingly are a rare breed, anyways, anymore. You guys keep it up.

Blossom

Deuces.

Creation: An Everyday (Non)Occurrence

This post is a creation. The keyboard I’m using, on the laptop it is built into, while sitting in bed, is a creation, as are the pieces involved. Absolutely everything about everything you ever do involves creations by someone. There isn’t any way around the fact that any tool you use, anything at all, was created by someone else, using tools created by someone else, the ideas for which were created by yet another person. It’s an endless cycle. Humans create every single day. To be fair, they also break things down every single day, but that is a conversation for another time.

When talking about creation, my mind often goes to creativity. These blog posts are supposed to be helping me with that. I hoped, with the influx of thoughts with channels to direct them, I would be able to more organize my thoughts and hopefully even speak without making so many mistakes. I was completely wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong. I have

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have enjoyed writing these blog posts more than I can say. I write them usually after eleven at night and then I go to bed, feeling less than confident that I have made a difference in someone’s life, and less than confident that the words I put on paper actually make contiguous, coherent sentences, and then I wake up hoping to see some numbers next to my post. Likes are a great way to know that something I did was correct in some way, though they are very non-specific. In their own way, that’s the beauty of the like button.

Comments are a different story. When someone comments on my creation, they are giving specific details into the things that got them thinking, or made them feel a certain way. It gives people a chance to really respond to the words they read, and possibly even invites a response from me in the process. Views are simple. How many people saw that I had words on the page? Look at views. This is how many people SAW my creation, though maybe not for what it was. Creativity is often viewed not as what it is simply because perceptions vary person to person. I am unable to guarantee that the vision I had when I wrote these words will be the vision you see. In fact, I could more

I am unable to guarantee that the vision I had when I wrote these words will be the vision you see. In fact, I could more easily guarantee that you will have a vastly DIFFERENT vision from mine. Perspectives change. Perspectives are given to us by our upbringing, by the people in our lives, by our own actions, but also by our body’s chemistry. You could have two people raised identically, but body chemistry will always reign supreme, no matter what training it undergoes. This means, in multiverse theory, that there is a universe where I am built exactly the same as I am now and yet, I don’t see the same thing I see here. I don’t have the same feelings, the same desire to write. It gets kind of crazy when you go down the rabbit hole of multiverse theory.

Here, though, is where the entire post thus far becomes, if not null and void, at least paradoxical. We have never created a single thing in our entire lives. Not. One. Thing. How have we created all of the things in this world and yet never created a single thing? That’s ridiculous! That’s ludicrous. That’s impossible. And yet, the answer: The Law of Conservation of Mass, discovered by Antoine Lavoisier. Matter can be neither created nor destroyed. That means that all things that were, are, or have ever been, will all be made from the exact same atoms we already have.

Rather than create something, we simply transform it. We piece it together, we shape it into the visions in our minds, but we don’t create anything. Even the thoughts in our heads aren’t creations, but rather the firing of electrons in our brains causing arcs of energy that our other five senses are interpreting in a way we understand. To be fair, we all think in our own language, which is just a construct built to be an audible barter system: the exchange of thoughts for the exchange of responses.

This got a little more “out there” than I intended it to, but I don’t mind that.

Create

Deuces

The Paradox of the Paragon; Thursday, June 15, 2017

Today, I tried something new. First off, I remembered the notebook and actually took it to work with me. Second, rather than just wait until the evening came, such as right now at 11:28 PM, to think of my ideas, whether they be for my Journal entry or for the daily prompt, I decided I would do well to write down a few interesting tidbits as note to use for when I did sit down to write. It didn’t work out so well.

While I did take out the notebook and write down the topic of my ideas, all of the details that I thought would pop back up after I reread the topic did not resurface. If I think about them really hard, I might be able to get back into that moment, but the smart thing to do would have been to write down as much as possible right then and there. If I could have fleshed out the thought process I could have refined it later on, simply making the words sound better rather than inventing the wheel to begin with.

I do remember one of the things I was thinking about, though. Surprise surprise, it was me. I was at work, putting things away and cleaning up, when I realized that I was a paradox of sorts. I love organization. I will put things away and color code and label and straighten to no end. Simultaneously, I will have fourteen unrelated orders stacked up in front of me in no particular order, waiting for me to do something, with details for each of them scattered all over the desk. Pens, pencils, highlighters, all strewn across the papers. My stapler was upside down, my tape was backwards, and my computer mouse was facing the wrong way. Somehow, I was able to function like this.

I put my work on hold; I started to clean up. I started hole punching the orders, I started stapling relevant pieces together. I place all of these pieces into the necessary binder behind appropriate tabs. That’s about when it hit. I can work in the most seemingly disorganized mess, but I love to organize, and I love to see things after I’ve organized. I love knowing that I did that. I made it look good. I made it easy to find things. All those positive feelings are because I did my job correctly. I call it the cleaning afterglow. It lasts only as long as it takes for someone to screw your work up.

Regarding the paradox of the paragon: I see paragons as a relative thing. Perfection, similar to beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Another piece to add to that is that our perspectives change, so as we age and encounter new experiences, our definition of perfection, and therefore what would constitute a paragon, may change. Nothing in this world is constant, at least not for very long. Even the sun isn’t constant. It’s pulsing, burning. It is constantly changing, and ever so slowly dying. I definitely remember having more on paragons when I was at work, but sadly, in my failure, I didn’t write most of this down.

One final thought for the day: House of Cards has started to envelop my soul. I have watched entirely too many episodes in entirely too short a span of time. I hate how I love you, Netflix.

 

P.S.: I just realized that the prompt of the day changed part way through the day. That’s totally not fair. I would have written a totally different prompt. Completely uncool…

Paragon
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Deuces